ЏйbŖĕåķâβĹe's moved to http://www.unbr3kable-hearts.blogspot.com/

2009-03-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

Moved to http://unbr3kable-hearts.blogspot.com

2009-03-18T02:34:00.001-07:00

Bii came to my house todaaay..

Happy ^^.. Love to hold her in my arms..

'It's not what you say that counts ; it's what you do'

"

2009-03-13T12:55:00.000-07:00

Vote for Earth Or Global Warming

It's Your Chance to Decide Our Planets Fate!

By Just Turning Of Your lights at March 28th from 8.30pm-9.30pm Goal : Achieve 1billion votes

Our Video

Click Here! To vote for our Earth

2009-03-09T11:27:00.001-07:00

How often do you find someone you love to really appreciate you for who you are?

Who are also the same type of person as you ; yourself are.

I can only say we're Gatal punya orang xD

2009-03-08T08:19:00.000-07:00

When all seems lost ; you stood by my side.

When violence overcame reason ; you gave me back my conscience.

In the absence of light ; we walk through every single obstacle helping each other.

'You know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes,and her eyes everywhere in the world.'

Hearts Mell 1314 <3>

2009-03-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

Happy
belated 17th burfday !!

The bimbo kia Jessica Ting~

2009-03-07T11:18:00.001-08:00

I first saw it shrouded by stars
bright and proud
Warmly lit by neighbouring stars

Sameness of the crowded sky
Shown only how special thy
Make be one and only one

Dazzled by the beauty of its' night
Humble as day broke through
She knows her place to be

Impress by its' shear might
Hidden through unknowing eyes
She knows her past to be

Perfect;
Special
You'll always be
Look back in time
A pass that stabbed me through
Eternally my soul will suffer
As long as blood still flows

Moon.

I shouldn't have asked

2009-03-05T11:06:00.000-08:00

I love my wabbit more than any words we humans are capable of speaking

She's my clown
She's my pain-killer
She's my happiness
and
She's my Life
Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You're nothing short of my everything.

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Before you my sky's thick with suffocating fog , because of you my night became a sunny dawn.

My heart is ever at your service,
♥ you tonnes wabbit
Mwahh ^^

2009-03-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

March 1st
♥

I love my wabbit

Always will

Always do

' Bit by bit I'll mend your broken wings so that we can sore to heaven together. '

2009-02-27T03:50:00.000-08:00

'' I love you for who you are and not who you're not''

2009-02-10T11:04:00.001-08:00

I'm the patient whose having a heart surgery and you're the doc that kicked me outta hospital window you know that?

Doc.. you're either running away from your responsibilities on such an inhumane act.

OR

You really meant do that like that to me

Forget about the surgery I just want another heart

Or just give me a heart and die straight without despair <3

2009-02-08T12:24:00.000-08:00

有时候，我们心爱的人，

未必能够陪伴在我们身边，

不要失落，不要悲伤，让我牵你的手，

一起走下去，好吗？

2009-02-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

1more week till 情人节!
anxious =3

2009-02-03T10:06:00.000-08:00

I don't want to go through everything again.

I just want things to be like this now and I could never be more happy.

I found you here, now please just stay for a while and let tell you everything.

I've learned and I've changed

These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past

If water can only wash all the filthy mess

It's surreal that all these while, the puzzles are just waiting to be put together.

Let me prove everything I said it's through. Let me prove that I changed

2009-02-01T11:14:00.000-08:00

Only you can stop the rain
Only you can change my world from black to white..

*John's currently feeling top of the world right now!!!*

2009-01-29T03:29:00.000-08:00

Valentines RUSH!!

AHHH

lol..

2009-01-26T21:50:00.000-08:00

Can't make it for yee sok's funeral..
I'm sorry..

2009-01-25T10:09:00.000-08:00

Yee sok,

Rest In Piece
My Friend
May you rest your soul in heaven
You suffered for so long
Finally you can let go
God Bless You

2009-01-21T10:19:00.000-08:00

我不想忍了

我真的很痛苦

我想说出心里话

可是很怕达不到目标

不想瞒着最明显的谎言

2009-01-20T07:42:00.000-08:00

Cape No.7 海角七号

You're the moon and the sun to me.. Always

2009-01-20T07:39:00.000-08:00

Where do I begin
to tell a story of how great a love can be
the sweet love story that is older than the sea
the simple truth about the love she brings to me
Where do I start
With her first hello
she gave a meaning to this empty world of mine
There'd never be another love
another time
She came into my life and made the living fine
she fills my heart,
she fills my heart with very special things
with angel songs,
with wild imaginings
She fills my soul with so much love
that anywhere I go
I'm never lonely.
With her along who could be lonely
I reach for her hand
it's always there
Where do I begin
to tell a story of how great a love can be
the sweet love story that is older than the sea
the simple truth about the love she brings to me
Where do I start
How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say:
I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away
and she'll be there

2009-01-20T04:38:00.000-08:00

Ever noticed that staint under your shoes?

Did you ever tried to clean it?

Nahh.. most people just wouldn't do..

2009-01-16T06:30:00.000-08:00

Those who success are the ones who keeps on fighting till the end

AND

And I'm affraid that I can't do that anymore.

Tired & Fed up with everything

2009-01-14T21:59:00.001-08:00

Cheebye nightmares.. The same ordeal all over again

2009-01-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

2more days!!!

The plane departs for taiwan @ 3pm will be reaching at 730pm night

Well this trip will be simple

14-days shop till you drop!! X)

LV 30% discounts @@

and and and..

Delicious taiwan munchies

'What happens in taiwan stays in taiwan'

lol jkjk later my bi kill me.. =3

2009-01-08T09:04:00.001-08:00

Taiwan in 7 days time... x)

My top 10 to-do list :

1. Buy Louis Vuitton Set Clothes
2. Rent a sports car
3. Eat my favourite steamboat (extremely spicy)
4. Eat PORK rib burger at McDonald's
5. Eat KFC's eggtart
6. Visit my gorgoeus grandma and a fcked-up uncle
7. Going hunting with a shotgun.. YEAH!! XP
8. Me and Zun aiming to wake up at 4am everyday to jog
9. Full body massage
10. ANG POW ANG POW AND LOTS OF IT!! (hope more than 2k this year =/)

2009-01-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

According to sources reporting,Breaking new!!!
MARK IS NOT A VIRGIN!!! YES!! THAT's RIGHT!!

And this just happened a few hours ago!!

2009-01-05T11:40:00.000-08:00

''Tonight I've fallen and can't get up

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up

And every night I miss you

I can just look up

And know the stars are

Holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight''

2009-01-05T11:21:00.000-08:00

Things change so much in time.. Didn't aspect to get along so well with each other so good nowadays.

Neeways.. Went karaoke with our EX Gfs and seh jiang and his girl..

'we know it's a fact we can't deny ; a destiny we can't face'

2009-01-05T11:09:00.000-08:00

The tale of two evil australians :
Introduction to bak ku teh
Club
One - Night - Stand

*lazy nak cakap long story*

2009-01-03T23:10:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a nightmare?
When you ran from something and tried to reach the door.
But the door's just so far away.
No matter how fast you ran you just can't reach the knob and open it.

And somewhere at this point, you'll find yourself waking up - relief with sweat.
But I'm caught in between the twilight zone.
Tell me what you want
Let me dream once more
Before reality finds me once again

Dream / Wake up?

2008-12-31T11:42:00.000-08:00

对不起吧我什么都试了还是害了你

2008-12-25T02:09:00.000-08:00

Right or Wrong

2008-12-25T01:33:00.000-08:00

10 Things Revealed In Twilight The Movie That Were Never Revealed In The Book

1. Edward drove a hatchback. Oh no he di'n't! I can't tell you how disturbed I am by the car he drove in the movie. Edward would never drive a hatchback.

2. Forks is a racially diverse place. Funny how Stephenie led us to believe that Forks is made up two kinds of people: White and whiter. Who knew Tyler Crowley was black? Or Laurent?! I'm pretty sure "dreadlocks" don't appear anywhere in the text.

3. Bella has an affinity for flannel. (And bowling shirts?) Oh, I get it, because it's Northwest Washington, right? So obviously all the high-schoolers are rockin' oversized, plaid flannel shirts, Cobain-style. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Twilight producers, but grunge hasn't been cool since Smells Like Teen Spirit was topping the charts.

4. Vampires fly Superman-style. It was never mentioned that Edward soared from tree to tree--vertically, no less--or scaled trees with his hands and feet. Those close up shots of their faces as they're soaring through the air, Bella's hair flying, look exactly like Clark Kent and Lois Lane did (even the quality of the special effects, which, I'm sorry, should be better than a movie made in 1978). What's at the top of my Christmas Wish List? A nice, fat budget for New Moon. And no more vampires flying from tree to tree.

5. Jacob has fangs. Who knew? You'd think this would be something Stephenie would have felt compelled to share with us. A werewolf with fangs? Intriguing. Maybe Jacob is actually some new mythological creature--half vampire/half werewolf. So--just humor me here--once Renesmee is finally old enough to hook up with Jacob (which should be about any time now) and they procreate, their offspring would be, what? A half werewolf/half vampire/half human with the only real set of fangs? I smell sequel!

6. Bella's friends were cool. Interesting how Stephenie kept Jessica's humor a secret, (or the fact that she was entertaining in any way) never spoke of Angela's glasses or 92 lb. body, and failed to mention that Eric Yorkie was a "hip, attractive Gaysian." (Okay, I stole that line from another website.) Seriously, who knew Bella's friends were actually people we'd want to hang out with?

7. Edward has chest hair. It's funny, but in all 9,572 descriptions of Edwards cold, hard, glistening, marble-like, gleaming, muscular (jump in at any time) chest, I don't recall ever seeing the word hairy. It could very well have been there, though, slipped in among the myriad adjectives, and no one would ever have noticed. I just can't take Edward's "perfect" body seriously with fuzz poking out the top of his shirt. Now, I don't promote shaving or waxing of chest hair by any means, but I think in this case, where someone is portraying an immortal character with skin made of smooth stone and the sexiest chest known to man, maybe waxing should have been on the to-do list for Rob's hair and makeup. You know, right after "muss hair" and "apply lipstick liberally."

8. Bella wears makeup. Speaking of lipstick, I find it hilarious that in the books, neither Bella nor Edward wear a stitch of makeup, and yet in the movie, they both do. In Edward's case, he's wearing red lipstick like nobody's business, obviously to attain the whole vampire look. As for Bella, she's not just wearing "movie makeup" that all actors have to wear. No, her character is actually wearing lipstick, mascara, and eye shadow. I love this, because it's like they read in the book that Bella didn't wear makeup (according to Edward, she didn't "need to." Blech.) and thought, "yeah, right" (just like all the rest of us did) and decided to make her a normal teenage girl who wouldn't be caught dead leaving the house without makeup.

9. Forks High School students are health conscious. I dare you to find a scene in the movie where one of the teenagers is eating anything resembling junk food. Apparently in Forks you're not cool unless you're eating a salad, veggies, or a garden burger. Bella's a vegetarian? Was that supposed to be some kind of tongue-in-cheek comparison to the Cullen's eating habits? There wasn't a single shot of any kid eating a hot dog, hamburger, pizza, etc. Nope, it was salad, vegetables, and salad for these kids. And salad. They even have Rosalie munching on a carrot! What the heck?! Details, people, details.

10. Vampires love monkey references. Two quotes that didn't make it into the book, but sadly, made it into the movie: EDWARD: "You better hold on tight, spider monkey." ROSALIE: "My monkey man." Uh.....awkward. Weird. Not funny. What's with the monkeys? Here's one that didn't make it into the final cut: BELLA: "Edward, I want to be like you. Change me. Change me now." EDWARD: "Yeah, when monkeys fly out of my butt." Where was that one?!

Oh, and I just have to add that this is Edward's car, as chosen by Stephenie Meyer, taken right off her website:

Look at that--NO HATCHBACK!!

2008-12-24T19:09:00.000-08:00

也许我该继续骗自己

假装没事发生过

假装我不介意

假装我不管

假装我没受伤

我想念过去。。

2008-12-21T11:58:00.000-08:00

Christmas carroling @ Bukit Sentosa , Rawang

We went rawang ytd at 8pm..

Uncle George played santa this year XP

chubby betul la dia

Oh yeah.. Before that seh jiang decided to buy something for his SWEETIE.. lawl.

.

Never think - Robert Pattinson (edward cullen)

2008-12-14T15:25:00.000-08:00

I should never think
What's in your heart
What's in our home
So I won't

You'll learn to hate me
But still call me baby
Oh love
So call me by my name

And save your soul
Save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done

I'll try to decide when
She'll lie in the end
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
Tell you to hold off
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known

Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out in this all wrong
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
I'm in love

Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done

'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Without me you got it all
So hold on
Hold on

2008-12-14T15:13:00.001-08:00

Like jia said to me sometime earlier..
''Don't you think history is repeating itself again?''

Actually a part of me wants it to happen more than to prevent it.
Im so selfish.. But how do I suppress the part of me that craves the scent of you..
Noone made me smile so effortlessly before.. Noone..

So yeah.. I had'nt update my blog because there's alotta things going through right now..
Drugs... Don't get me wrong.. I did not break my policy.. But someone did and THEY covered it up from me.. Haha it doesn't matter larh..

The day you start taking drugs, it's the day you're not my brother anymore.
Because I know that my brother won't do something that stupid to hurt themself.. No?

Apart from that, everyone's recovered right now.
That puts me the only still in the sick-bed.

I miss you 722..

2008-12-14T15:11:00.000-08:00

QUARANTINE

Everyone's sick after getting back from genting..
It's so contagious until seh zun brought it back and made his whole family sick.. LoL

Genting trip Part 2

2008-12-14T15:05:00.000-08:00

So Bii and Wen went back around 4pm..

And I had to take the genting skyways back to my apartment at gohtong jaya.

Seh zun and the guys arrived at genting at night.
And we had a small BBQ party at the B2 parking X)

Genting trip Part 1

2008-12-14T14:57:00.000-08:00

Ahhh dang.. I still have to keep you updated if not I'll still feel guilty. Now.. why do i feel that?

Hmm where should I start...
Oh okaay.. Let's talk about the genting trip..

I didnt sleep till it was early sunday morning.. And forced my oldman to fetch me go to first world resorts to see Bii..
Met up with Bii and yearn wern at Cybertime , Genting.
Then we went to the outdoor themepark..

Because of the stupid misty and rainny weather.. Most of the rides were on hold..
And we went starbucks to chillax

*Do notice : Pictures sucked >.>

S

2008-11-27T03:01:00.000-08:00

LaLa

Ouch.. That's all i'm gonna say during the dye-ing process..

2008-11-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

Finnished physics paper at 330pm sharp..
And I went straight to bandar puteri to find bii
Sadly I ended up walking outside her house

LUCKILY the scenery's stunningly gorgeous
here you go :]
I sat onto of the guard-rails.. Enjoying the pre-rain breeze..
The lastime I was here I was different ; Everyone's different
People do change don't they?
Yeahh.. Up till today I still regretted everything I've done wrong..
But heck, it's history now..

When you think of how good is time at changing stuffs
Aren't you just amazed?
All those sweet things just turned bitter with a flick of eye.
Perfect became the most awful lie anyone could ever say.

Just don't be an ass alright?
It's really unfair
Once again, thanks for everything appreciate it

A N Y W A Y..
Sweetie's going to japan for 1week..
Meaning I have 1week to be EMO hahahahaha X)
YEAHH!! *hope she doesn't see this before she leaves the country*

Enjoy and have fun bi
<3

2008-11-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

Biii's birthday - saturday X)
I don't wanna talk much about biii's birthday let's just keep it to ourselves shall we?

All I can say is THAAANKS GOD SHE LOVES WINNIE THE POOH

2008-11-25T08:57:00.000-08:00

So let's just cut this short.

Wednesday -
Seh jiang's birthday at Euphoria..
Didn't went to his birthday..

Forgot why XP

Dominos fest

Drunk eeeeetard

Thurdays -
Jeffrey foo's birthday..
Didn't celebrate at all..
Dont know why

Friday -
Kyle's birthday..

Hand-baked by jasmine jie..
The boyf Kyle

And we went Supper Club after that.. Since we got VVIP invitation and it's the grand opening.

2008-11-22T11:04:00.000-08:00

BUSYY WEEKKKKkkkk

Happy birthday to the following peeps:
1. Wei ying <3'
2. Ping may
3. Seh jiang
4. Jeff foo
5. Strawberry
6. Kyle

6birthdays in 3daay..

and 2 more upcomming birthdays at 4th dec..
Abel and Jasmine

p/s be more detailed on my next post w/ pics =)

2008-11-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

Everything turned out to be OKAY after all =)

1. Got my sweetie now ♥
2. Friendships going smooth
3. Exams didn't affect my social life at all, as though there's no exams at all. LOL
4. Getting my car after spm.. Got a rm10k investment into modifications

You said everything's gonna be fine. At first I didn't believed you but everything turned out to be superb. Thank you

Thank you for all those lonely nights talking to me through the phone. You had to hide in the toilet sometimes just to talk to me.. I'm really touched you know that ?
Thank you for finally getting me to quit smoking although others tried so dearly hard.
Thank you for trusting me and giving me your heart.. ^^

But it's hard for me to know how much risk you're taking on me.
But I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for trusting me.
It's something I really need right now.

You said I'm perfect for you.. But until the day I really stopped smoking completely, I will keep on trying.

♥ YOU

2008-11-14T03:48:00.000-08:00

NICOTINE = NOT ADDICTION

I'm quit smoking today..
Wish me luck..
XP

看不顺眼

2008-11-12T07:36:00.000-08:00

我好难才避过了这一场风暴
可是现在发现身边的变化好大
我需要容忍这个残酷的世界多久呢？

2008-11-07T22:40:00.000-08:00

Before you Bella my life was like a moonless night
Very dark, but there's stars point of light and reason
...And then you shoot across my sky like a meteor.
Suddenly everything was one fire;
There was brilliancy there was beauty

When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon
everything went black. Nothing had changed,
but my eyes were blinded by the light.

I couldn't see the stars anymore.
And there was no more reason for anything

-Edward Cullen

2008-11-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

Part 2

Dawn never broke through the thick clouds
The warmth-giving sun never came
He was stuck inside the twilight zone
He was confused.

He cried continuously for days
He never thought before that he can be so vulnerable
Even normal breathing hurts
To him he lost everything

He thought himself ''why do they call it 'break-up',
i feel that every part of my body is breaking too.''

The basic necessities of mere humans are just another burden to him
He don't feel the hunger
The pain of losing her is all he felt now from head to toe
He don't feel thirsty
The only thing in this world that he wants is Her

He even stopped going to school at all
Just to avoid seeing her
Because seeing her will reap apart his already-healing wounds
He went out everyday with his friends just to distract his mind from her

Weeks passed*

He already did everything he could to get her back
So when he can't he let go
Letting go, doesn't mean that he don't love her anymore, it's just that he's finally ready to see her go off with another guy.
He still love & care about her the same as before.

That's when trouble came
He took risks of her hating him to protect her
But people around them started to stick their fingers in
They think they're helping but in fact they just pushed the guy off Mt. Everest without a parachute!

She hated him
She thought he was some attention-seeker wanting to tell her parents her secrets
She thought he was the scoundrel
But he didn't

He explained to her about everything wanting to clarify
But she didn't trust him
To her he's just some bastard

Everytime when there's something wrong
He wanted to settle things out for the good of both
She wouldn't let him
She'll just blame every single thing on him

He really changed after everything that happened
He wanted to help and this is all he'd got?
He chose a completely different path
He chose a path that a normal people would choose
He forces himself to HATE her

Everyone's being selfish, the only difference is to what extend?
If you tried every single thing you can do to explain to someone something you didn't do
But in the end he/she blames you for every single thing that happened
What will you do?

Is it wrong to be selfish ?
To prevent urself from being hurt
And hate someone
It wasn't wrong for him, Not anymore.

2008-11-05T21:57:00.000-08:00

For y'all emo peeps out there
based on a true story

A guy found this girl. She was perfect to him.

She was cheerful
She was good to all his brothers
She was always flashing that sweet smile to him
She was always jumping around making everyone beside her happy

BUT her boyfriend has another girlfriend outside. She was the Mistress
Her boyfriend went out with the other girl without telling her.
Her boyfriend's girl know nothing about the existence of her.
Her boyfriend don't have time for her
And threw her aside like a rag doll

The guy can't stand seeing her being treated like this by her boyfriend
The guy pitied her and the feelings came so sudden.
The guy thought to himself ''why don't I get her heart? why don't I make her happy?''
The guy bet everything that he had on the table, hoping that she'd take him
She left her boyf and gave her heart to the new guy.

He loved her
He cared about her
He gave his heart to her
He was there with her when she did everything
He accompanied her to the dentist
He accompanied her when she's with her parents shopping
He walked with her everyday after school
He was there right infront of her room door when she had nightmares
He was always beside her when she's in the hospital
He cried when he saw the tubes sticking out of her veins
He was there for her every time she needed him

He pushed his friends aside
He quarelled with his parents
He flung his exams
He skipped classes

But he was blinded by love..
He trusted her fully..
He had no doubts when she wanted to do something..
The unbreakable has just became breakable
Vulnerable

Almost everyday, the guy went over her house.
Watched tv with her
Did homework with her
Walked with her in the park with the dog

Her parents approved the guy and trusted him
Her parents treated the guy warmly
And in return the guy treats her parents just like his own

One day, he realised something is wrong.
His girlfriend is always talking about her ex-bf
As though as she was comparing him and him
He ignored the fact, and kept loving her with all his heart.

He is over-protective
He is sensitive
He is obsessed
So he doesn't like it when his gf hides stuff from him

He wanna be there for her
He wants her to open up
He wants to solve every single problem that his girlfriend had
Because she's his lil princess

She was the perfect one
She was Ms. Right
She was his destined wife in the future.
Everyone thought of the same thing and agreed

He was sick one day, so he didn't go to school.
He sat there for hours looking at the clock waiting for school to be over
So he can call his beloved

He tried and tried and tried
But the call just wouldn't go through
Until at night
She messaged him
Guy Girl
Bii.. I'm sorry I just woke up
The guy's mad at the number of efforts he did, but the anger just went to steam when his princess replied.
I'm worried sick you know.. Stop being a pig larh.. Everytime sleep..
So how was school today?
She didn't reply him.. So he waited for the message..
Until he can't stand anymore, he called her and she picked up..
Ehh you fall asleep again ah bii..
No...
What you doing orh?
Nothing..
Why you sound so emo?
No ahh.. where got..

As I said the guy can't stand his gf hiding from him, so he said bye and ended the call. Without even waiting for her to say goodbye.
But panic streamed throught his mind, he can't concerntrate when he's talking to his friends.
Until he can't stand it anymore.

He called and forced his gf to tell him what's wrong
But she wouldn't crack
So he begged her for hours

Until she finally said it
I don't love you anymore
His heart skipped a beat when he heard this.
When?
Yesterday
Who?
My ex
Please don't leave me, I really can't live without you, I gave you everything that I had. I don't mind being the 3rd or 4th or whatsoever number in your relationship. I just want to have a part of your heart
You don't mind but I mind
After everything I've done, Isn't there anything that can make you stay?
No, I'm sorry

And the phone went dead.
He called her for hundreds of times
But she wouldn't pick up
And a message came

I'm sorry. Until now only I know that i need him more than you. I'm sorry

He picked up a knife and cut the number of days of them together
and carved Her name on his hand.
Blood splashed out of his hand
He feels abandoned
He feels his life just crumbled right infront of him
He can't believe that he lost her
What had he done wrong

All her promises just banished right infront of him
He never begged anyone liket hat before, first time in his life he felt like he was someone's dog.

He became a shattered person
He didn't sleep for a few weeks
He didn't eat for a few days

He vommited whenever the thought that she's finally not mine anymore..

His friends tried every single thing to cheer him up
His friends was really worried about him
His friends was even affected by him
The only thing he can do, is put on that happy mask as well as he could when he's with his friends.

She didn't shed a tear for him
She went through everyday as thought as nothing had happened
He, on the other hand cried himself to bed everyday.
And everyday, nightmares haunted him, tearing him apart
But he dared not wake up, because the pain of reallity hurts even more.

To be continued~

2008-11-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

SPM is a piece of cake!
*can't believe i'm saying this

Luckily distractions are over with now X)
Been forcing myself to wake up at 7a.m everyday..
A 5km jog.. Then study for the rest of the day..
Wow.. for the first time my life's been so... ORGANIZED

Jie came over my house yesterday and gave me tuition on few subjects..
Then went on talking bout all those funny stuff till.. 6am? lolz..
After breakfast I went jogging... Chibai.. half asleep..

ENDED UP I FELL INTO THE POND
almost got myself drowned.. luckily there's this indian policed that pulled me out..
I dislocated my shoulder.. ouch >.<
A minor sprained ankle.. =.=
But I must still fight on.. for the sake of SPM.. knn

X) nailed you right in the guts..

Screw 2008 let's move on to 2009~!

2008-11-04T00:52:00.001-08:00

CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT YEAR WIEEHHHHHH~!

You might wonder why am I so excited about 2009.
1st highlight.. Car
2nd highlish.. College

And Zun's following me back taiwan for Chinese new year.. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA..

diu.. just realized that I need to finnish the form5 sej chaps today..
Ouch >.<
Tata

Sentuhmu yang paling lembut

2008-11-04T00:31:00.000-08:00

Monday..
Me dan zun abby and mark went for some dinner at jin jiang (kepong)..
*Ahem* Need-to-know-basis aje..
So means photos pun limited..

On the way~

The place =)

The alchohol

Nothing I can actually talk about =/
went back home at around 11pm.. Done a few chaps of revision on sejarah and went to BED

Tuesday, Today

Went to my music school early morning, practiced guitar with my teacher.
Then around 10am went to pj state for group practice.
What am I practicing for? *SHHHHH...*
Top Secret

Then went to school to meet up with seh wank..
Walked around school.. Was surprised to see how dead are the form5s block. =/

Then went mid valley.. Unfortunately zun dont wanna go MV.
So.. We turn around and head for OU.
In OU:
Park car
Take lift
Walk to the dvd shop
BoughtJAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY's NEW ALBUM XDThen went back zun's house study.. LOL was worth the trip..
The song's awesome =)

''You'll never feel the pain if you didn't fall''

Parallel reality

2008-11-02T13:06:00.000-08:00

Woke up at 10.30pm today..
Found out amanda siah's at ou with nicole sarah chris chun lam and guys..
Jiang dropped me at OU new wing..

Screw man.. I lost my way at the 3rd floor and I got locked inside some corridor..
Ended up kicking down the door zz..

And i found this lift.. I pressed 4th floor.. MAGICALLY I appeared in GSC..
Went in cinema with the girls.. and watched ''有只僵尸暗恋你‘’

Dam lame wei..
Another is I got a girl that's screaming at my ears lol..

After movie went nicole's house..
They wanna play mah jong worh.. I mar stun there watch tv lorh..

THEN.. nicole's mom came down
Mom: What are you all doing?
Guys: Playing mah jong lor.
Mom: In this hour? NOT TO MENTION that the table you guys are using costs RM5,000+
Guys: *stun*

Lame day wieh >.<

2008-11-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

Went ac with May after graduation..

Sorry lorh.. for being SO SIENN.. have to make you watch me drink & play.

EMO me again XP

Sister went hk larh.. dam sien when comming back pun tak beri tau.. even sien..

************************************************************************************

You live in a state of denial
You live in a paranoid world
You live in your babbie doll world with bunnies and monkeys jumping around =)

Go on and do whatever pleases you
I tak kisah lagi! As nen said
Fcking stupid to be emo over something USELESSS

You're a big fat liar that's all I can say
Used to it already larh
Don't go on and make fake promises to everyone larh k?
Not everyone's a John CHAN XP

Oohh and and.. guess who I Saw yesterday?
I saw your dream lover, Jackie with a hypertune model.
Hot X.x

Bon voyage =)

I graduated.. yay?! lol

2008-11-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

Went yamcha AGAIN at OUG with nen, yu, zun, wan, jiang , abby.
Saw mang ning and amanda there with their friends.
Sorry friend, but these pics have to be loaded on.AHAH~! super candddiiid shot X)
Hyper-allergic.. You can play tic-tac-toe on her body y'know? farrnie..

Gahh.. when you comming back from HK?
Dying here wieh~! >.<
Come back let me zat 9 9..

"you're exposed, that's when you get disposed''

Pre-graduation day

2008-10-30T00:41:00.000-07:00

Finnished yamcha at 4am and went school at 6am..
Ouch.. that's really gonna cost abit on my health =.=
Been caughing dry blood outta my lungs.. >.<>

Went in school.. Perhimpunan..
And there's when the sucky part comes.

Mr Ng COCK YOU wants to cut my hair, and I wouldn't let him.
Turned out, I stormed outta the school gate pushing the guard.
And went kana yamcha with carl & becca

Pic taken by becca.

Then after 2hours of holding the couple hostage I finally let them go in school and went in after them.
Was so darn busy running around the whole school, looking for my spm documents.
BAD MOOD

And even worse, i got force to chiong k with my classmates tomorow

Really BAD MOOD

Somemore I heard stuffs about someone that made me even more stress. Who am I to judge?

Really REALLY BAD MOOD

After school pn. lim yoke kheng called me repeatedly for a few times asking me to go to the office, didn't even bother to look at her and walked straight outta the gate.
EVEN MORE!! Smoked infront of Mr. Lian (head of discipline office) ouch.. >.<
EXPLODED

The day isn't to me today huh? Suck it up boy you have to live with it =/

''Just like fire and ice, a lover and a friend is completely different''

Stab me from behind when noone's looking

2008-10-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

Hmm.. Went to ss15 MacDs' with Ming yu, abby, zunny, amanda siah, k , and calvin.

Ming yu thougth he saw his ex-love.. WTF larh.. You know ming yu larh, eyes macam buta punya orang masih tak nak cermin mata.. Zzzz.. turn out to be some unknown girl.

After that , we fetch adele chow from usj 16 and went to ss2 吹吹水(island cafe yamcha)

Dam-dam-dam-dam-dum~!
Introducing AMANDA SIAH
Argh.. Another camera-shy girl =/

Btw~ we sat at island cafe till around 2, then we shifted to banana leaf FOR MARK.

Mark ahh mark, janganlah malu mcam perempuan aje.. Takda muka dah.. xP

''if i has to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU.''

Confessions of a XXX

2008-10-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

OMG OMG.. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT SOMEONE's GAAAAAAYYYYYYY

Not happy-gay or like stupids stuffs that makes him gay..

He's A FCKING HOMO-GAY

Ahh.. I knew I knew it XD

False sensation

2008-10-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

I'm not giving up on anything, you know how persistant am I

I don't feel good and I don't like the way things are going right now.

I don't wanna care but I can't stop myself from getting hurt.

What's the point? I kept asking myself.

Everyone's right , there's no point.

But the pre-programmed stubborness inside of me still persists, no matter how much self-counselling I give myself.

You're a such an ass you know that? But most of the time you're much much sweeter than anything on the world.

I never changed, It's just a side of me you've never seen before. I'm stuck in this maze, I'm so close till the exit yet so far from completing the game.

Who the hell would play a game that the percentage of winning is 0.0001%?

ME

Promises..

2008-10-24T12:45:00.001-07:00

The few things I promised myself to finnish this year.

1. Revenge for Zun
2. SPM 5a's
3. Change my lifestyle
4. Never let them down again
5. Make sure someone keeps to someone's promises.

You made me promise something I can't do
And you break your promises yourself

Continue and spoil your life, people who cared got pushed aside by you.

''Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.''

Euphoria by Ministry of Sound (MOS)

2008-10-23T15:58:00.000-07:00

Eyes were jumping for the past two days, my upper left eye lid.
They told me i'm gonan see someone i never see for quite long.
How does this relate to the clubbing day?

Well, reached euphoria around 10.30 pm
Waited for someone's gf and her friends to come.
Went in club at around 11++

Music was nice
The dance was nice
The GALS ARE HAAWWTT.. X)

But after awhile my ear started to hurt,
So I went out to grab a drink..
A call came

''John, the girl's brother came up to the hostel and broke into our room looking for us, we need you''

I went down to ss2, but once those people saw me they left the place.
So I waited for seh zun they all to come yam cha..
Then I got a call saying that one of us got wacked..

Went back to euphoria
And see what happened
Too late.. those people ranaway when the police came..

Now only i remember that my eye lid stopped jumping when i reach the club..

Revenge is sweet, no matter how long it takes to be done..
Watch out fucker, you're a dead man walking

Silent night

2008-10-22T14:37:00.001-07:00

Another restless night..
But luckily my princess-in-shinning armor came to the rescue..haha

Found out that e-jia's kindda emo today..
So I talked to her in msn until 2.30a.m. lols.. until boils came outta my fingertips

She's so hungry but then she's too lazy to even cook a maggi mee for herself
E-jia : Eh duwan larr, down there dam dark and alot lizards I takut.
GOOD REASON HOR..

Updated her about our pangkor trip and all.
We both laughed like hell when I told her bout ming yu cry because I scared of ghost stuffs

Then until I can't tahan anymore, we change to phone lor..
Hmm I guess we're just like exchanging roles kan?
You him; Me her..
Anyhow it's just so wrong for you to think that way lar no?

Jia told me some very lame jokes
This is one of em'..

David: What's the joke for today?
Phua Chu Kang : Eh.. the joke today is about why women dump men.
David: Oh okay, why then?
Phua Chu Kang : Because the girl say that the boy cheat on her and still got.. because ah she found someone better than the previous one.

After awhile**

Phua Chu Kang : But this is not the main reason u know?
David : Then what is it?
Phua Chu Kang : The girls dump the boys before they get dump by them.

LAME.. but okay larh.. Abit funny.. Abit bit..

This is all for today..
Still on the phone 6.a.m...

Here I come! Dreams world.. gahhhh~

Change is inevitable. Change for the better is a full-time job.

2008-10-22T10:16:00.000-07:00

I was wrong judging someone, because of what they did to me.
It's not the reason to hate, it's time for you to learn.
Because hating someone doesn't make the situation any better,
It'll just become worse

Forgive, Let go, Change

Need to change myself for a better life
But of course there's ups and downs.

The risk you take if you change is that people you've been involved with won't like the new you. But other people who do will come along.
So long a person is self-renewable, he's a living being

Everything changes, change with it or be exiled to the past.

''Things don't change, but by and by our wishes change.''
- Marcel Proust

Red to black

2008-10-21T13:04:00.001-07:00

Any remedies for nightmares?
=/

Reconnected

2008-10-21T08:28:00.001-07:00

This world is so so confusing..
Your most trusted people turns on you
Your most loved one become your most hated one
Your friends becomes enemies
Your cats screw dogs? roflmao duno what i'm saying..

Btw~ The point is, anything could happen.
Depends on how you wanna see it

Something she sent me.. Nah ladies have a look

''Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...''

Patch up

2008-10-21T06:52:00.000-07:00

Argh stupid migraines kept me awake the whole freaking night. I went for a jog under the rain.

Refreshing but...
SUPER BAD IDEA

Went back home straight vommit and fever..

I'm not the me lastime who can torture my body anymore..

BTW.. Went to kana at around 7.30a.m
Met with ping may, kok keat, ie win and..... alot larh~ all their class punya peeps

In the bus to pyramid..

Then at meng tin..

Looks at the bags of getting not enough sleep ladies..

Redbox

Tan & Chan trouble

Retarded pic

Because I'm not that cruel.. And won't be..

'' Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.''
- Leo Buscaglia

Precious time

2008-10-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

Finally got myself a watch from my remaining money.
Hmm.. I think wei lun's got the same watch?

Anyhow, parents been asking me to get a watch to keep track of time.
The time that I've lost these past few months. I think I really need to get hold of the time huh?

Blink and everything's gone away.

''Love makes time pass; time makes love pass.''

Twisted

2008-10-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

Screw my nightmares wieh, something just keeps repeating inside my mind, that momment, that thing you said. Even the Lim brothers are complaining about my sleep-talking.

Creepy >.>

Might be going back to taiwan next year for a long long time.
Mom's friend has been asking me to go for some audition and maybe I can make big bucks.

It's a great opportunity, NOT that I have any intentions of being artiste~

BUT, a great chance to escape from this chaotic world for sometime till the wind dies down.

Hmm let's just put it this way, after having my tattoo on my arm ''freedom''
I really do get freedom huh?

But what comes after freedom?
A price?

Yeah.. I guess so.. So many stuff's been happening lately, sometime's it's just spooky to think of it. My life one month ago and my life one month later.

Friends
Love

Studies
Family

I don't know the changes are neither good or bad. Who know's if you look back 10 years later.
You might think you was stupid at this time.
WHO KNOWS? =/

''Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime.'' - Bette Davis

Chaotic day

2008-10-18T14:38:00.001-07:00

Went to Titanium today with becca kapoh ming yu and zun

Imma cut this short
Reach club
Chill
Listen to music

Then, some problem with Travis made us all go outta club and talk.
BUT becca left her handbag there
Went back into the club to get her back, and that's when we found out that she lost a hugh sum of $$$ and her ipod nano.

I told the bouncer to check the bodies of the suspects, turn out there's nothing.
But we didn't give up we asked the boss whether we can check those people's car.
But he said NO, he said we have no rights to do that.

SO being a good citizen of M'sia, I suggested to the boss that we call the police because they do have the rights to search the suspects cars.
He called me immature fella and scolded.
I walked away feeling the rage burn inside

But then I turned and saw the BOSS talking to becca
Stood up for her and kept her behind, but the fella raised his voice and provoked me to punch him in the face

Ming yu stepped in and talk reason with the boss, but the boss pushed ming yu away and almost started the fight. The bouncers pulled the boss into the club and keep apologizing to us.
Ming yu said ''If he doesn't comes and apologize, what will happen to the club tomorow isn't any of our business''

Hearing that, the boss came out and apologize to every single one of us and asked us to stay for drinks but we left for OUG to settle stuffs with travis

cheer up becca, uncle's always here =)

Trues become lies dont they?

2008-10-18T14:26:00.001-07:00

She promised me to call me out for tea-drinking sessions
She already knew about my hand thanks to your friends
She knows about your ex-bf and your past
She cares about you and me

She's worried that what they told me i'll they you and distract you in your exams

What am I supposed to do when someone throws those cold eyes at you and ask the questions that were supported by evidence.
I lied and get caught, she said what a long lecture she's gonna give you when your exams are over, but I dont want to distract you from your exams and hid it from you.
She reminded about the lecture that she was gonna give you and I warned you.

Do you think i'll be so free to ask her out? I asked her out to find out what is she gonna talk to you about when you get home.
I begged her to not scold
I begged her not to be so harsh on you
I lied to protect you

Don't take me as the one who told your parents everything
Some of your friends are the EARS AND EYES FOR YOUR MOM
Open your eyes and see laa dummy

Oh yeah if it isn't obvious enough
I dont give a shit about him, I care for myself and find out what I need to know.
I didn't talk about him to your mom because there's nothing to talk about

The false accusations you pour on me your honour

I plead not guilty and I stand my ground

You're ignorant and stubborn
Dont think things the way you want it to be
You at least know me well enough that I wouldn't hurt you

OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS
SEE WHAT's OUTSIDE THE WINDOW

Crushing down

2008-10-17T13:53:00.001-07:00

I salute you for acting so well , so happily infront of your friends for such a long time.
And you tell me tears and sorrow is all i'd left for you.
OH YEAH! You left me, so it should be ''tears and sorrow is what you took away from me.''

I don't know whether you're being tough or you're simply a hypocrite. Friends are there to help you through hardships, but you don't know how to appreciate them and hides stuffs from them.
Don't regret when it's too late.

Liars and backstabbers are all around you.
Sadly you can't even diffrentiate between allies and foes
You're blinded by your prejudice towards people.

So be it, I'll fcuk off from your 'world' and let you be.
Just becareful that lilttle bubble world of yours doesn't get sieged.

***********************************************

One of the most respected people in my life is TAN PING MAY.
No matter how much I hurt her, she's still always there for me.

She's a tough intelligent girl that demands every inch of respect that you can give.
It's worth it, though sometime you can be a real pain-in-the-ass.
But heck, you're a great sister to me.

Although I know some stuffs doesn't make her feel good, she still manage to flash a very convincing smile back at me. Thanks.

Thanks for caring, worrying, and loving me so so much.
Best sis X) a brother could ever have.

Love me not

2008-10-17T13:31:00.000-07:00

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies

One shade the more, one ray the less
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress
Or softly lightens on her face
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and on that brow
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent
The smiles that win, the tints that glow
But tell of days in goodness spent
A mind at peace with all below
A heart whose love is innocent.

If you dont want to, then you dont have to believe me..

2008-10-17T11:36:00.001-07:00

Went pyramid at 11am today, was so damn lonely but luckily Albert came to the rescue.. Thanks brothaa..

One hour later Rabecca reached starbucks and we went to gasoline together along with Carl Wen, Wei Ying and Michelle.

You PMR candidates are so damn lucky y'know?
SPM is 20x harder than PMR.. for Christ sake.

Later in the afternoon, Yan's mom asked me to yamchaa with her..
Ahh.. Got screwed up for smoking and cutting myself Zzz..

But luckily, 80% of the session she was talking with zun and jiang..

Nightime**

Got a call from zun that woke me up
Zun ''Mahai some fella scold my mother weih, come down nathan now we're gonna fight''
*Walks blurry to the computer room and took my phone,
And to my astonishment saw some urrh.. message that woke me up from my sleep.. Oh well what can you do if someone doesnt wanna listen? IGNORE

Went down to USJ14 and waited for Ruben (our so called ''father'') to bring his people down for the table-talk session.
But things didnt went that smoothly, we waited 3hours and ruben's men got caught by police forces ZZZZ..

Can't there be anyway? I love you..

2008-10-16T12:13:00.001-07:00

Went AC yamcha today. Let the pics do the talking

Ohkay so can you look at the emo fella up there?

And this is the person that made him emo. *Blushing*

Name : K
Born : ?
Age : ?
Education : Monash
Personality : SUPER FUCKING FUNNY

Flirting in a way

2 Imba fellas

My will's breaking down..

2008-10-16T12:02:00.001-07:00

Went to St.Igntius Church (SIC) this morning at 9am.

Sadly, my godfather has return to god's embrace.

The tears started to stream down my eyes when I see the coffin laying infront of the Altar.
I had to pull every inch of courage in myself, and stood beside the coffin to look at him.
Strangely, he looks younger compared to his living days.
Maybe finally now he can rest in piece and let go of the nonsense of daily human live.

After praying, Father Simon sprayed holy water on the coffin. And continue by giving my godfather the last holy sacrament that he could have.

The song ''The Last March'' played, I had the honour of playing the guitar for this song.
But somehow, my eyes are covered with tears again, and dripped all over the guitar when I was playing.

Thanks for always being there for me, listening to all my bullshits and all.
I'm sorry for whatever I've done wrong lastime and made you mad.

Pray for us, the sinners before our Fathers persence..
R.I.P Nicholas Cheng Kia Man.

品冠 - 爱你的那一天

2008-10-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

你向我要段时间　让爱情沉淀
再见面对他一点都不会想念

收了好久的信件　你有口难言
到今天　才翻阅　是三个人的考验

爱如果有两面　你是领衔
谁是副选　谁要流泪辞演

我不问哪天哪一瞬间
爱　会再次回到我身边
你　失去他的路线
是昨天不必说抱歉

你向我要段时间　让爱情沉淀
再见面　对他一点　都不会思念
收了好久的信件　你有口难言
到今天　才翻阅　是三个人的考验

爱犹豫的两面　他在蓝天
我在地面　拥抱够不够安全

我　不问哪天哪一瞬间
爱　会再次回到我身边
你　失去他的路线
是昨天　不必说抱歉

我　相信那天那一瞬间
爱　会忽然停在我面前
你　在下一趟地铁
往明天　我为你许愿

笑一笑，没有什么东西过不了

2008-10-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

在自己最悲痛的时候，也就是自己得到人生最大的教训。

在觉得自己最孤单的日子，也就是发现到身边朋友们的伟大性。

我们都是活在一个混乱的世界
我们都是经过受过伤害而成长的
我们都是受害者。

我把你们丢在一边不理不睬，
可是你们没有怪我并帮我觉决一切烦恼，和我共同分担。
感谢了。

爱情不是永久的
爱情不是一切

爱情只是一种感觉
一种最美好和最悲哀的感觉

Friends are a shoulder for you to cry on
friends are a Well for you to throw you heavy burden down
friends are the ears to listen to your problems
friends are your most powerful ally in your life
friends are everything that you've got when you lose everything

Learn how to appreciate and love the persons around you.

I love hatin' YOU so so much.. Do i?

2008-10-15T12:35:00.000-07:00

Today went yummchaaaaaa...

With:
Mark Zun Milo Strawberry Jason Ang Jun Nen Sxuan =)

From Aman Suria Kayu ---> Ss2 Indomie Corner

Keng alotta stuff bout hims and hers, gossiped alot bout everyone X)

Oh yeah we got a new name for him now.. CHAN FAT YU!

Look at those chubby little lips, the flabby little double chin of yours.
And the oh-so-loving penguin stomach that you have.

*******************

By the way, Im not changing myself for YOU. You deserve nothing else but a rotten corpse of a rat.

I hate you, and everyone around me hates you biitch. Dont close this page you know who you are, and just face it face to face.

If dont know what kindda person you are. Let me tell you then =)

You are:
1. A b!tch
2. Attention seeker
3. Bloody childish kid
4. Backstabber
5. Hot-tempered
6. Camwhore
7. Lesbian
8. Sex-freak
9. Physchopath
10. Free-loader

Im not saying names, but you know who you are. You know what you did.
And maybe when you think you're this person that Im talking about.
But then you're not =3

Smell the air of.... freedom! Muahahaha X)

2008-10-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

Seh Zun : Looks are deceiving

Daniel Chan FAT Yu : No more hengdai if you do that again

Travis : What would you feel if I do the same thing

Kapoh : I'm gonna slap you once I see you

Shih Xuan : You deserve better bro

Nen Lin : (forgot what she said)

Lilian : Gosh! What the **** you did to your **********

Abel : You seriously damn sohai weih~

One hell of a lesson..
But woi~! Im back wieh aren't y'all supposed to be happy? X)

Learn to Appreciate..

2008-10-12T06:32:00.003-07:00

OMG!! I finally woke up from the nightmare!! X)
Super- duperrrrr happey~!
All thanks to my brothers for always being there for me, especially zun and travis.

And I'm sorry for being such an emo-ass last week haha..

But on the bright side I'm back to myself again aren't I?

Yesterday was kindda like a refreshing course.
Went to rabbit cafe with may, seeing her really cheered me alot dnt know why =3
But its so sad that you can't come to bandar puteri with us laarh~

I got a call from rabbeca at around 4am..
Talked with her about alotta stuffs for 1 1/2 hr..

Haha sometimes you really know how to cheer someone up dontcha niece?

I dont know what to do.. so fcking lost now..

2008-10-09T01:10:00.001-07:00

Was it my fault for picking you up during that momment of life,

that you're so hurt and so sad and I gave myself a chance to be with you?

Was I always a substitute for him? After everything single shiit that I've done..
I'm just a freaking substitute.

You can stand being hurt by him for so long.. But just me repeating the same mistakes for 2 times.. You broke up with me..

You wouldn't let me understand you
You wouldn't open yourself up to me

When i care about you
Is when i cry for you

When I gave you everything
You just throw it aside..

I'm saying I DONT WANT YOUR SORRIES.. It doesnt help kay? =)
It'll just make it worst..

Its my fault for screaming

Its my fault for digging up the stuffs you want secret
Its my fault for getting you of track and love me (that time)
Its my fault for trusting you promises and gave everything to you

You broke all your promises to me just for?
Freedom? Him? A better life?

I know this was comming but i didnt prepared myself..

Because I always believe what i want is what i get and,

I can change you..

But i was WRONG..

''Everthing's gonna be just fine''

2008-10-07T12:26:00.000-07:00

Ferry from lumut > pulau pangkor

Look! Can you see the fishies waiting below? xD

'Say sorry! if not im throwing you down to the sharks'

Some post idea from Ming Yu about some gang in U.S.,
called 'Wah Seng' or something im not sure.

Brothers always and forever.

We stand as one
We fight as one

We move as one

Die for brother Live for brother.

Thanks for doing everything that y'all can for cheering me up =D

I will hold onto you..

2008-10-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

Don't tear me down
Give me something that i can believe
Let me in the door that you've opened for me lastime

I'm here on the edge again
I don't wish to let
I know that I'm one step away
From turning it around

I don't wanna believe this for real
Because the truth kills me from the inside
Make the pain fade away don't break me down

*********************************************************

Let it flow till it dries
Let all the pain drain away
Let it go and set it free
So that it'll catch the freedom of the air.

You gave me everything that i ever wanted,
And you snatch it away so fast that i cant even grasp for air.

Is it fair to just let go of everything that you believed in, and lie to yourself that everything's gonna be fine?
Is it fair for forever to last so short?

I will never ever blame you for everything that had happened, i blame my ignorance and go through everything with a fake smile on my face.
I thought the thing you gave is a assurance for a period of time being with you.
I thought that being over-sensitive and over-protective was right.

I was so DAMN WRONG.
Because i've got nothing now.
And i know if i dont change myself to the person you love so much lastime,
I will not have you back anymore.

My heart's broken into millions of pieces, but with that smile of yours everything can just heal with a snap.
I will never ever blame you for what had happened.
It's my fault for assuming whats good for you and always do my own decision without you liking it.
Everything that i've promised you, I will never break it.

Because I love you more than anything else in this universe.
I wanna live free again, I wanna breath for air.
I want you back.

'Until now only the bunny knows she needs a monkey more than a squirrel'
But the squirrel can be the perfect one, as long as the bunny gives him a chance to prove his worthiness.

I love you <3>

Someone's making a come back

2008-09-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

Don't be sad larh, we're all here for you.
As long as you get off the addiction for drugs.

We can let you come back to our circle
We can spend time with you again
We can treat you like our lil sister again

But I can be like what I'm to you anymore.
Its history
Its over
Its the end of us already alright?
Get over it, I'm not gonna love you as like i love you before.

We all care, but if you dont change you're alone.

XOXO

2008-09-17T02:47:00.000-07:00

What someone looks on the outside doesn't mean what he is on the inside.
Let me show you something of what I'm saying.

Becomes

A flower.

I will say this a million times if i have to. Dont judge someone by their LOOKS =)

BARcelona

2008-09-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

Haha went clubbing with my brathaas today,
Of course when there's us there's a fight to be fought.

Clubbing went as usual,
Travis high-gei for a momment,
then fall asleep on the chair lmao...
Me emo-ing beside travis starring into the blank air
Seh zun go find his girl girl but.. adui..
Mark & Ming yu on the hunt for girls haha.

Yeah so story goes like this..

After the clubbing session,
I saw this black shirt chinese dude scolding the hell off this indian fella,
And well i avoided staying close with him.
But after a few mins,
I walked and stood beside him without knowing he was there.

He fcuked me straigh ''You think you dam dai-kor is it?!!"
Stunned @.@
Went back to ming yu and the guys ''OI mahai want fight anot?! some fcuker scolded me''
Then we walked to the fella
Ming yu ''mahai you want fight is it?? You diu my friend for fcks?!!"
Black shirt dude scolded at travis ''You chibai you push me for what?!''

At the end we found out the fella's on the same side with us,
no choice but to help him lor.
Then some gila fella came out of the club with 2friends helping him to stand
And scolded here and there.
Travis with his itchy-mouth said to the black shirt dude'' is this the one who scolded you just now?''
Of course its not him la, we're just looking for a fight XD

With the two weapons strap inside my pants,
I ran straight up to the fella and wacked the fellas head with my ''iron stick''
Then suddenly ming yu, mark , travis was all on the fella kicking punching and wacking

THEN A MALAY WEARING JACKET CAME RUNNING AT US
''SAYA POLIS YOU TAU KA?'' striping of his jacket revealing his uniform.
I dropped my weapon at once and ran for the car,
The police only seem to question travis about who's weapon is it
And travis push the blame on the other guy.

We all ran like hell to the car and went steven's corne, oug to yamcha
THE END

lazy to write in full detail.

Nights

Going off the top

2008-09-06T13:33:00.000-07:00

What's the point of making a promise that's meant to be break?
You have me promise you something that i couldnt say no

If not i would sound like a selfish bastaard

I WILL break it someday soon
But please understand I do really love you with allmy heart

My self control is only that good
im not god im just a man
i cant resist but i cant do anything
because i love you and i'm trying to respect the choices that you made

The suffocating dark cloud is comming,
Covering the blazing sun,
A new eclipse is forming,

Covering the warmth that I used to have,
Im cold , Im lonely, Im sad
But you're not there to put on the blanket for me.

Where are you? Who are you?
Where'd you go?
Im lying here frozen in time,
the only part of me left is my pumping heart,
waiting for you to return and revive me.
BUT will you be there?

I flew so high because i thought it was perfect and hurtless

I put everything into this
Because i believed you, love.
Will you fix a broken heart?

I was willing to sacrificed everything,
Family Friends Life Time Money
Anything to see that heart-melting smile
BUT will you smile again?

I already put an effort into looking through the thick cloud,
But you didnt care because you're mad at the momment,
You left me alone at that momment,
Questioning myself every possiblity of what i done to make you mad,
You shed your precious tears and melted my heart,
I wouldnt let you cry any harder,

And i gave you my shoulder for support,
Because i love you.
BUT will you still be like that?

You know how much u meant to me,
And how much am i willing to sacrifice for you to be in my life as long as possible,
But one thing you dont know is how hurt am i.

I love you more than anything in this world
Please forgive me for the promises that i'll break in the future
You know i only keep those promises that are really crucially important to us
Please change for me
I wont blame you if you cant change,
but only if you really tried

Friends are important I do understand,
Some things you cant tell me,
But you can tell me,
I understand that part too.

But sometimes its good to stay away from a FEW of them,
that's hurting your beloved darling so much no?

I will love for all my heart could,
I will try harder to change,
I will sacrifice more of my life for you.

I wanna be selfish for one thing
Because....

Angels

2008-09-02T06:56:00.001-07:00

You took my heart
Deceived me right from the start
You showed me dreams
I wished they'd turn to real
You broke the promise
And made me realise
It was all just a lie

Sparkling angel
Couldn't see
Your dark intentions
Your feelings for me

Fallen angel
Tell me why?
What is the reason?
The thorn in your eye

I see the angels
I'll lead them to your door
There is no escape now
No mercy no more

No remorse 'cause I still remember
The smile when you tore me apart

Gon' be tough for you

2008-09-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

I promise everything's gonna be fine okaay? Believe me. Only through hardships, we'll be stronger. Dont let this small matter get to us, hold onto my hands we'll get through it eventually.

I cant stop hating myself for putting you into this trouble, I know you dont mind, I know you dont care. But then I do. Im sorry okay baby? I really am.

I shouldn't ask you to stay, its not right but I guess you're worried about me then you stayed with me the whole day. Thanks i really appreaciate everything you've done for me.

Nothing makes me more sad than having you cry to me, but dont because of this, and go cry to other people alright? Im always here as I'd promised.

You're the first one i'd take so much humiliation for. I dont regret it, because you're very very special to me, love. Im afraid that history will repeat itself again, and this time the guy and girl will be us instead. Im trying my best to forgive and improve. Give me time.

Screw my parents dude seriously, they stepped over the line. Sometimes silence is everything, dont you all get it? Silence doesnt hurt anyone. I dont know when Im gonna go back home.

I wont let anything or anyone to tear us apart, I MEAN IT. I dont care whether you're my dad or mom whosoever I dont give a shit.

♥ you as always,
John.C

My addiction ♥

2008-08-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

Haha.. Life's good.. Too too good..
Except the studying part LOL. Been studying at least 3hours/day from now on.. For my future, our future, and my car!! HAHA..

The puzzles are finally fitting into its' places, finally i get to hold on to something stable. A support for me to love and appreciate what god gave us. Yeah sometimes, without losing someone you wont move along. True no?

I dont understand why, I'm so happy with my life at the moment. But doc' said that I'm having sub-conscious stress? Roflmao. I cant sleep everyday, every night I'd be rolling over and over the bed. I just cant sleep, I feel so lonely. Too much study perhaps? =/ I dont wanna go crazeeeeeey~!

Mon- School, Follow bi's car back home, sleep, tuition, phone, study then sleep.
Tue- School, Sleep, tuition, phone study then sleep.
Wed- School, follow bi back home, chilling, tuition, phone, sleep.
Thu- School, sleep, tuition, phone sleep.
Fri- School, teman bi&xiong yan, follow bi back home, zun's house, comp/phone/yamcha.
Sat/Sun- Play time

You sure can see how boring my daily routine is lol, my life's boring but happy. With my bi and such good friends around me =).

Lee Chao Yan my addiction <3 ''belum cuba belum tau, sudah cuba hari hari mau'' *winks*

1st month anniversary

2008-08-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

Happy 1st month anniversary, love. I love you so so much. Hope it will be continuing like this. <3

Lies lies lies..

2008-08-21T05:52:00.000-07:00

Im utter most disgusted by your im-innocent-look infront of us. Dont fcuking act innocent and on our back you set our houses on fire. Dont you do that.

I've already warned the others about your deterioting behavior, you dont deserve to be one of us. We're using you like you'd used us.

An eye for an eye? =) yeah you might call that, its not just about the guys dude, even the ladies are getting sick of you.

Yeah you care about us, but sometimes your nose are just sniffing too deep into others butts. Before you know it, you would just have a noseful of shit in your nostrils.

I really appreacite that you brought me outta the fox hole that im stuck in, but you've changed so so so so so ever much dear.

You're just like the innocent stream suddenly become a raging sea swallowing all those gigantic ships with people in it.

You've changed too much, we cant take it. NO one can, just go far away now, change and come back. We MAY and WE MAY just forgive you for what you did. But for now, we DONT LIKE YOU. You can feel it inside your gut.

Lost..

2008-08-21T05:15:00.000-07:00

Internet's been down lately, argh not to mention about the mood to blog.

Well, i guess people are just right when they say guy's blog are mostly unattended to.

It's not really that hard to forget someone that u LOVED for the past 2 and a half years. Its been too easy,until it starts to scare me.

Of course for a good reason, for someone that i loved so dearly much, for friends beside me to attend to my every 'need'.

Thats a pretty good reason. Yeah you sucked for being the first ever serious gf in my life.

You made me like a dog, following you and obeying your every order.

Yeah thats history for me now.

How could you fight back if you the one who's killing you, literally, is the one that you loved.

Fighting back makes you even sadder than having those harsh things throwing at you.

Love is so oblivious, ever so complicated.

I've risked everything for you, and i mean everything. My parents almost disowned me, betrayed one of the person who really changed me, changed myself. All these for you.

But you wouldnt really know how to show your appreciation do you?

For the past 2 weeks, I've been dreaming about you. EVERYTHING, am i really that obsessed?

Yeah i am i guess so.

But DONT ever make me think of her in your actions that hurt me, i just don want to hate you like i hated her. Its very hard for me.

Hurting on the raw surface of my heart isnt that pain, but instead digging up those screwed up memories within. Its just another level of pain i need to endure. *grinning*

I've sacrified alotta time to be with you, cause i know you miss me, cause i know you're the only one who doesnt think that im annoying.

But, bruises and cuts all i've got for my brittle lilttle heart.

I hate people hiding things from me, although not your stuffs but when i intend to know, dont turn me down. Dont hurt me. Harshly.

Yeah you guys out there. Is there anything wrong about crying for you loved one? Im a dai kor and shit so what? I can be the most frightening thing you'd ever wanted to see. Or a very very good friend that you'd wanna treasure. One way or another. I cry often.

Stress, a slow drug, not an addictive one but a slow killing one. Its killing you from your very roots. Bit by bit, bitting deeper into your mind, distorting you.

Dont add anything to my misery, Im already miserable enough.

Something adorable and fearful,

Chan yee hao, John.

I think Life is UNFAIR.. really really UNFAIR

2008-08-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

I think that some people arent getting the appreaciation and love they're supposed to get. Im sick of watching these kind of people, having to suffer the harshness of life. And those idiots, WHO IS THE REAL ONE THAT SHOULD SUFFER, running after living live to the max.

The worst part is not being treated that way, but seeing people around you. PEOPLE WHO ARE F*****g NICE SUFFER.

Know him>?

If you dont please go and bang the wall until you know who is he. HE is one of the people im talking about.

He's my driver, my da-gei friend, my protector, my dai kor, and my BROTHER.

No one, and i say no one has ever been that patient and kind to us. When you're down, he's always there to listen to you. He's always on-the-call when you need him to fetch you out. When you're outta money, he'll lend you his money with no hesitation eventhough if he, himself doesnt have enough money to use.

ALL THIS JUST FOR A SMILE.

He never ever ask us to repay him, he's the perfect friend, the perfect gossip partner, the best fcuking listener, and the best brother you'll get. Even the best boyfriend.

But he's always emo, because people around him doesnt know how to appreciate him. People around him takes advantage of him. People around him bullies him because of his self-quietness.

ATTENTION GIRLS!
He may not be the knight in shining armor, nor the warrior that fights of dragons.

But hell i tell you, no guy have i ever seen have the qualities i seen in him.

He treats his girlfriend with full love , affection, care, pampering, and commitment.

But in the end, he just gets dumped dumped and dumped. Im really sad that this world doesnt have any girl that knows how to appreciate him.

If im a girl, the my Mr-Perfect will be Lim Seh Zun. Dont ever ever judge someone from the outside, open up and you'll see the real side of em'.

I love you Lee Chao Yan <3

MY first post: My life part I 2007

2008-08-07T07:27:00.000-07:00

My fucking good life =)

Got my bi now, heng dai, ji mui, & family.

This year is actually the best year of my life. Well at least im HAPPY this year, unlike lastime I used to be EMO everyday.

People used to call me EMO-kid when im in Sri kdu. Always during recess, rather than eating with friends, i'll be at the library EMO EMO EMO EMO. EMO kid last year.

Then i started shuffling, and thats how i got myself out of the lil box that im stuck in everyday.

HOWEVER, thru that backstabber up there, i came to know Travis a.k.a Wong Shi Zhang.

And i quit shuffling, and started to get closer to my friends.

LALA John is opening his CLOSED-Door policy.

First time sleeping-over at travi's house.

Do forgive me if i didnt upload SOME of your picstures. Wasnt able to find em'.
I love you all.

I LOVE MY BROTHERS

Y'all turned my life upside-down. YOU CHANGED ME.